Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway- You’ve Got a Friend
Since my birthday last month something in me has shifted or maybe intensified is the better word. I’ve found myself sitting longer in gratitude while replaying moments. My friends show up for me in celebration and in constancy that isn’t so loud and You’ve Got a Friend is the perfect soundtrack to verbalize my love and devotion for these wonderful human beings.
This song was originally written and sung by Carole King and has been reimagined and immortalized by so many different artists, including my favorite Brit, Elmiene. But my favorite version of all time belongs to my favorite artist of all time, Donny Hathaway featuring Roberta Flack. Most renditions of this song are sung in a single voice but there is something so black and so communal about two voices..two friends making promises to each other. It really feels like a call and response. The song is a conversation that incorporates reassurance and reciprocity and that’s what I feel from my village.
The song starts with Roberta singing, “When you're down and troubled. And you need a helping hand. And nothing, nothing is going right”. Then Donny comes in humming and then sings, “Close your eyes and think of me.And soon I will be there to brighten up even your darkest night.” This feels like venting in the beginning and then it turns into remembering that you’re never alone. It’s a promise and a shared vow. It’s declaration and confirmation..a confirmation that I feel wholeheartedly in my relationship with my community. There is something so very healing in being able to declare your lows without feeling dismissed. They have stabilized me, reminded me of my value, and have spoken certainty over my life 100 times over and just like this verse of the song, it is an echo back of the best parts of me even when I forget them.
The next part is the chorus and Donny and Roberta sing it together which is the heart of the song and an illustration of an agreement between friends. It goes, “You just call out my name And you know wherever I am I'll come running, oh yeah baby, to see you again.Winter, spring, summer or fall. All you've got to do is call. And I'll be there. You've got a friend”. This is availability and active support. There’s a mutual urgency among my friend group where we show up. It’s movement whether physically or metaphorically. My favorite line is, “Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall” because it expresses how seasons change and circumstances shift but the people who have never left my side refuse to make our relationship seasonal. Their love is steady and unconditional. There’s simplicity in “All you have to is call”..because bitch yea just call me lol! Call with no pride or performance and admit your need! My friends make my vulnerability feel like a super power and make me feel safe and I hope I make them feel that in return. “I’ll be there, you got a friend” is choosing to show up again and again and not just out of obligation. In the song you can hear the delight in their voices. It’s an assurance and a joy that is depicting someone who actually wants to show up.
Next they go, “Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend. When people can be so cold. They'll hurt you, and desert you. And take your soul if you let them, oh,but don't you let 'em”. “Ain’t it good” feels like a relief. It kind of sounds like “Ain’t God good?” after you’ve survived something or have overcome a challenge you may not have foreseen the end to. Looking back on something that could have broken you while realizing you were never alone. Isn’t it good to know you have a friend? Isn’t it good to know that there is security and assurance in a society that doesn’t guarantee softness? I say I have been having these feelings on my mind for a month now because there’s a goodness and steadiness in knowing that my people are solid. Interactions can be so “cold” and self serving because a lot of shit is transactional but my community feels warm and like a safe place to land. This verse doesn’t romanticize human behavior or really dive into how people can really hurt you it just warns to never let them in proximity to your spirit or have access to your softness. It’s like a protective intervention. My friendships have reminded me to not let hurt harden me or let me feel like I’m unworthy of true presence. They really are true guardians of my heart and soul lol.
Ultimately friendship is not a secondary love..it is a sustaining love and this song is my testimony. To all my friends, new and old, who will read this I love you and dedicate this post to you. Thank you for answering when I call and calling me back to myself when I need the grounding.
Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall: An Ode to My Friends.
Listen to You’ve Got a Friend
