Track 02: Jill Scott -Jahraymecofasola
Lately, Jill Scott’s 2015 album Woman has been the soundtrack of my life. At 30, on the way to 31, I feel myself truly stepping into womanhood. My body won’t allow certain things anymore, my spirit won’t allow certain things anymore. The lessons I ignored in my twenties won’t let me slide past them now. It feels like a season of accountability, healing, and transformation and this album speaks to all of it.
I listened to the album and after I heard this song I started to research how Jill came up with it and she stated, “I'm going to confess, l've been in a horrible mood, for months now. This journey of finding myself feels futile.My motivation is low, I feel like I'm stuck with little options and I'm frustrated. And as a result, my patience is low, my love is conditional and I feel pretty disconnected to who"I" am.This new year ahead, instead of the endless opportunities, it's endless obstacles that I can't seem to conquer.There it is, who I am right now and I'm making the biggest effort to stay above all the negative feelings harboring in my head. Positive thoughts, positive vibes, it'll all be okay” Jill literally is singing my life with her words with this explanation. It mirrors the space I’ve been in .. this silent battle of trying, of hoping, of slipping back and pulling myself forward again. I’ve been wrestling with guilt, low patience, and feeling disconnected from my own light. Jill’s honesty also reminds me that confession itself is healing. To name the mood, to admit the frustration, to recognize the obstacles is not weakness, it’s truth. And truth is where hope can grow.
My favorite lyric from this song is, “People look up at me and oouuhh they think that I’m a star. But it’s all because the love you give to me made me who I are”. This line resonates because it feels like my truth. I’m often seen as a person full of life, a good time, the friend to call for fun and energy..very surface level shit. While I appreciate being that light for others ,they don’t understand that I feel things deeply, and sometimes that depth is heavy and feels like a burden. People don’t see the balance, they just see the light on the surface. However it is also what makes me glow and it all comes from God. The light isn’t mine alone. It’s borrowed, shared, and gifted. It’s a reflection of something greater and proof of what divine love can do.
The Woman album truly feels like a mirror. Where Jahraymecofasola holds my grief and longing.. Prepared carries my hope and discipline.
“ Jah is God. Ray is King in Spanish and a ray of light. Me is ‘to me’. Co’ means ‘With”. Fa’ is the fourth note on the diatonic scale. I tend to sing right in there . So’ means to such an extent. La’ means ‘to exalt. So basically it means God is King to me with the fourth note of the diatonic scale to such an extent that I exalt” -Jill Scott
Listen to Jahraymecofasola
